Porn is a savage evil.
It emasculates men, destroys marriages, fuels human trafficking, and creates serial killers.
It’s also practiced by 85% of churchgoers in America.
There was a time when I was addicted to porn and saw no way out. But 8 years ago, I quit for good. I haven’t looked at it once since, nor have I had any desire to dip a toe back in.
I’m not here to give you a bunch of rah-rah bullshit. We have enough of that, and if you’re currently looking at porn, you have enough shame already.
Rather, my goal is to offer actionable, practical help. If you’re addicted to porn, you need tools, knowledge, and solutions. I’ve been where you are, and I don’t want that for you, your wives, or your kids.
You are not powerless over this, and contrary to what a lot of evangelicals might have told you, you do not have to struggle with this for the rest of your life. Not only can you develop the discipline to not look at porn, but you can leave the desire behind forever. That is, if you really want to.
1. Confess
You need to tell at least one human being that you’ve been looking at porn – someone who has power in your life to hold you accountable.
If you’re married, this needs to include your spouse.
Ideally, this is someone who you can count on to pray for you. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful. Look for someone who has beaten porn addiction themselves or who isn’t struggling with this issue. These are indicators that this person has spiritual authority in this area, especially in the former case.
If you really want to deal with this problem, then you have to come clean and give people permission to hold you accountable. It’s that simple. If you’re not prepared to do this, then you’re not serious about quitting porn.
2. Decide Not to Be A Slaver
Porn is the #1 gateway to prostitution, and the primary fuel for its increase in demand. Prostitution, meanwhile, is fueled by human trafficking. Approximately 40% of prostitutes were pulled into the industry by being trafficked as a child. In other words, porn fuels human trafficking by fueling prostitution.
Meanwhile, I high volume of pornography is made under duress (meaning it’s actually rape) and involves children.
In other words, porn fuels human trafficking. When you look at porn, you participate in modern slavery. You oppress men, women, and children.
If you’re reading this, I’m willing to bet that this isn’t who you really are. That’s why you know you have to stop.
If you ever find yourself needing some motivation in this fight, go listen to the testimonies sex trafficking survivors. Hear what these people have gone through, if you can. Do that a few times and see if you have the stomach to shop online for the same thing that put them through that hell.
3. Get Involved in Fighting Human Trafficking
There are some fantastic organizations that are committed to ending human trafficking. Getting involved will put you in the fight and help you remember that this is bigger than you. Not only that, but you will likely get some great education that will strengthen your resolve to get clean. Be sure to do your research, because some organizations are better than others.
4. Learn a Martial Art
Porn destroys your masculinity. It robs you of your strength, steadiness, dignity, authority, and spirituality. Instead of making you more effective and powerful, it programs you into a shame machine.
And you know a great tool for fighting shame? Literal fighting.
Men, we weren’t made to sit behind a desk. Your spirit needs to be developed and cut loose. Martial arts are a fantastic way to do that.
I felt called to engage in martial arts for years. When I finally went all in on one (boxing) it changed my life. It raised my energy, boosted my confidence, and gave me an outlet for the God-given ferocity in my heart. That same ferocity is in the heart of every man that has ever lived and ever will.
I’ll add here that I’ve never a big sports guy. I was forced to play them as a kid, but I never enjoyed them much. Yet today I can’t wait to go to the gym every day to practice my footwork and throw hands at a sack filled with sand. In fact, it’s often the highlight of my day.
5. Consider Fasting
This is an extreme method that should be prayed over. It’s also a very, very powerful one. Fasting has been proven to raise one’s frequency and help create permanent life shifts. When combined with prayer, the name of Jesus, and healthy substitutes, it can be a game changer.
A radical commitment would be a 90 day media fast. Drop anything digital that has nothing to do with work or essential communication. Cut it all out. While you’re at it, fast from food. If you don’t think you can go 3 days without, try cutting out added sugar and junk for 3-4 weeks.
Don’t do any of this lightly. Fasting can be very difficult. But if this resonates with you, it’s probably a good idea. Make sure to consult a doctor before starting a diet or fasting from food. I also recommend doing a fast that you believe is realistic for you. It should be daunting to think about, but not overwhelming.
6. Get Root Work
Addiction recovery can be a lot more nuanced than people think.
The roots of addiction can include generational curses, generational iniquities, inner vows, soul ties, familiar objects, demonic or unclean spirits, past traumas, and a whole list of other factors.
In other words it’s not just about brain chemistry – addiction usually involves a complex assortment of cause-and-effect relationships that can include spiritual issues and hardwired subconscious programming.
What I love about Root Work is that it cuts to the precise next layer that can be safely dealt with. Using muscle testing, we can pinpoint the root of a physical, psychological, or spiritual issue and find contributing causes. Once identified, these can be dealt with.
Not only that, but Root Work provides the opportunity to reprogram your subconscious, which drives the overwhelming majority of your behavior. If there are subconscious beliefs contributing to your addiction (there always are) then these beliefs can be released and replaced with positive beliefs that will help you divorce from the habit and the desire itself.
Root work has had a huge impact on my life. If you’re interested in learning more about it, reach out to me here.
7. Pray, and Get Prayed For.
This goes hand-in-hand with confession. There’s a reason that the same Scripture that commands us to confess our sins to one another also commands us to pray for each other. “The prayer of a righteous person has power as it is working.”
This is a spiritual battle, and you need to engage it spiritually. I don’t just mean asking God to heal you. I mean declaring out loud that you are healed, that you’re not a slaver, that you are holy, victorious, and better than this in the name of Jesus Christ who is come in the flesh. Jesus’ name has power. Don’t think that it doesn’t.
Don’t do this alone. Sign yourself up to get prayed for on a regular basis. Again, seek out people who have achieved victory in their lives over this struggle. Those people likely have significant spiritual authority in this area.
You Don’t Have to Struggle With This
Jesus told us to pray “Thy Kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.”
In other words, the Son of God taught us to believe in full restoration. If anything on earth isn’t God’s ideal design, then we should contend for it to become so. God wouldn’t ask us to pray for something that was truly impossible. He wouldn’t set us up for that disappointment.
You don’t have to look at porn ever again. You don’t even have to want it ever again. For freedom you have been set free. Free means free.
I hope this has been helpful.